it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
