Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
