I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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