you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
