you traded sex for a burrito?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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