so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
