How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
