I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
