how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
