There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
