Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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