I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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