I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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