real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
