I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
