She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
