I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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