Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I believe in your delicious
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize