Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
