I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
