After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
