is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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