Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
