So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
