My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
