I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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