Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
