I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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