im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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