Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
