There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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