He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
