He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
