it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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