Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am mentally ready for anal.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
