I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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