I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
too bad you live with your parents still
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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