loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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