found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
