There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
