he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
