so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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