well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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