Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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