I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Randomize
