So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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