he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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