my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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