the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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