I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
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