what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
